Ever Since I Got a Better Job, My Relationship with My Boyfriend Has Fell Off
Dear Nikki,
So I got a new job, actually way better pay than my previous job. I noticed that my boyfriend acts awkward around me. I know he feels down because he's been looking for a job lately, and for me, I don't know why I feel weird about it. The vibes are just not where they were before. What are ways I can feel better about this?
Mid-Level
Detroit, Michigan
Nikki:
Well, congratulations in the new digs!! I hope you're enjoying it and it was worth the move.
As for the funny acting boyfriend... have you asked him what's changed?
You need to celebrate your 'WINS', no matter what's going on with others around you. He should be happy for you and shouldn't let your progression impede his own professional progress or damper his mood about his position.
Men, sometimes depending on their history, can find themselves in competition (unknowingly) with the women in their lives. Have you read Steve Harvey's book, Think Like A Man? It's probably the best depiction of how men think when it comes to women and careers and their placement in life. Basically, the part that rings a bell with your situation is where he touches on ... if men aren't in the position in their life that they want to be, typically making their worth, then they won't be able to focus any of their energies on anything else until they get to where they want to be.
The lesson for you - Don't take it personally because it's not about you.
Again, what you can do to feel better about this is to celebrate yourself! If he comes along and wants to join in, then great! But if he can't bring himself to be happy for you and to put his own feelings aside, about HIS situation.... then maybe you have other issues on your hands.
Keep your head up!
Nikki Davis
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NIKKI
Your curly girl manager, just trying to live her happiest life!
Wife, new mom, member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. with 11 years industry experience, 6 years of management experience. Manager a team of men in a male dominant industry, while being the only woman on the team. DIY fashion blogger, a self taught seamstress. Owner/Creator of a monthly subscription service, SewConscious.com.
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