My Job Is Making Me Choose Between Taking Care of My Child and Working There. I Can't Do Both.
Dear Nikki,
I’ve missed quite a few days due to my child being sick. Recently my child got extremely sick & had to be hospitalized. I provided all the necessary documentation but was put on a decision-making leave to really think about if I want to work there.
During the meeting, my manager’s boss (they both are white men) told me that if my child is so sick maybe I shouldn’t work. He said that I need to learn how to schedule these things better & sometimes bad things just happen to good people.
I really need this job what should I do next? Besides filing a formal complaint when I return.
-Mid-Level in Houston, Texas
Dear Mommy in Need,
I'm so sorry to hear about this... it's stressful enough to have to deal with a sick child, piled on with what's going on at work.
I think you should reach out to the local EEOC office in your city. I'm hoping you have documentation regarding this type of leave request from your employer to give either an attorney or the EEOC. The EEOC is a cheaper alternative to getting an attorney. It's at no cost to you and you can file a formal complaint with them up to 1 year of you leaving your job.
At best, I would begin with consulting with the EEOC in order to determine what your next steps should be. I would also warn you against filing a complaint with them if you plan on returning. These people seem like they would retaliate against you if you cause any further perceived ripples. If you return, I'm under the impression that they will treat you as "normal" with the same set of expectations that they have right now. My view of this "decision-making leave" is a way out, for you. You can leave and not have to be fired. Firing you would, at their discretion, means that they have the option of giving you unemployment. Which isn't guaranteed that they will.
I know that you need to work, but this employer is showing you that they don't value families, which inherently goes against your values as a mother. There are good companies out there that understand the value of family and would be better willing to work with you and empathize with your current needs. You deserve to work for a company that values you as an employee and can help you with these unexpected occurrences.
I sincerely hope your child is okay. I hope that you're ok, in spite of the uncertainty of your current job situation.
Keep your head up & pray for clarity and confidence while you navigate these next steps. Everything will work itself out. In the end, make the very best decision for you and your family first. You can find another employer...
Nikki Davis
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NIKKI
Your curly girl manager, just trying to live her happiest life!
Wife, new mom, member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. with 11 years industry experience, 6 years of management experience. Manager a team of men in a male dominant industry, while being the only woman on the team. DIY fashion blogger, a self taught seamstress. Owner/Creator of a monthly subscription service, SewConscious.com.
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